Heaterless Gimnasio

Now I'm off to the gimnasio (gym, pronounced him-NAZ-ee-oh), which costs ~US$14.30/month and is worth every penny for its rustic, Rocky-in-the-Russian-shed-before-the-fight-against-Dolph-Lundgren charm. For the masculine invigoration of knowing I don't need a heater in this wintry warehouse because the Brazilian treadmill and I — we make our own heat. With the rusty freeweights, I create a ferocious burning. The primitive, mechanical stair machine — the one that does not use electricity and cannot be adjusted and whose resistance is lopsided — growls to me, "We can bend your dreams with our lopsided heat that is heat nonetheless!" Oh yess.

Bienvenidos al gimnasio 'Heaterless'.

'Why is he still writing,' you smirk, 'and not going to the gym?'

Because it's cold in there and I would sooner pretend about it than actually go.